Jaded
I just realized that the crux of my blog, and indeed the crux of my life is that I am incredibly good at moping, and being of little use in any other constructive pursuit, I consider it an evolutionary joke that I have made it to nearly 24 years on earth, a place where only the enterprising are supposed to survive.
I just realized that almost all things I attempt in my life are so eminently mediocre that I sabotage all those attempts by not achieving my decidedly mediocre goals.
I just realized that I was thinking of writing a blog post about the etymology of the word "jaded", being amply jaded myself.
And yeah, I just realized that I don't actually know what jaded really means. So I looked it up. I had a vague idea that it means that it means something close to being exhausted. It does mean that, but apparently it also means being cynical due to surfeit. It also might also mean an Aerosmith song, not one of their finer works, but passable enough.
How suitable. In a way, it is true. In a literal, and a metaphorical sense. Being metaphorically overfed is a tad difficult, but not impossible. Its weird how many mediocre young people like myself have it so easy that they turn into disaffected disinterested bastards, grow beards, learn liberal buzzwords, read some Sartre, and stand on cold gray beaches staring at the cold blue ocean and smoke cigarettes. You see all these people, do me (yes literally) a favour. Get a bull whip and whip the lot of us into shape.
The privileged among us, and that includes me, and you, assuming I can actually get someone to read my blog, we have killed our demons. We don't have to fight or die, at any level. We are looking at more or less comfortable lives no matter what we do. The term "fucking up", which is used liberally among people of my age, has lost its relevance. You can't fuck up, and even if you can, the society around you will ensure that it doesn't show.
It seems to me that we live in the dystopian setting that Huxley and Orwell imagined over half a century back. What made these dystopias so abhorrent was the fact that there were all marked by the social wheel coming to a halt. The hierarchy set now is the hierarchy for all times to come. Social hierarchy is a complex thing. The only thing that is always true is the fact that it is dynamic at all times. It's like a living organism, writhing and twisting and turning forever and ever into new configurations. This is the natural way of things. Its always possible to fuck up, and survival is an issue no matter who you are. To challenge this natural way of things was mankind's greatest folly, and the fact that man actually not only challenged this but brought the metaphorical wheel to a grinding halt is simultaneously man's greatest triumph and defeat.
For now , we have challenged that last supreme unknown that we should have let be in the course of our long, arduous journey. We have brought about the downfall of the very foundation of our prosperity, the fact that endeavour has worth. No matter who you are, what you are, the course your life takes is in your hands. No more. No more, for fools that we are, we have killed the worth endeavour had.
The irony of the whole thing is , that this had to come to pass eventually. It is a design feature with all warm blooded animals, to try and ensure the well being of one's young. But man cannot stop thinking you see. After killing cholera and smiting the plague, he thought unto himself, what more can I do to ensure the well being of my brood? If he was placed well enough, Why, he thought, should my offspring not be assured of the same.
I realize now that my acute angst has suitably been vented to some degree in a constructive way that does not involve porn sites and deliberating if I should pay $14.99 to enjoy a year of watching overwrought girls with too much lipstick strip on their webcams. Since the aforementioned angst was what was channeling the Force and was making me act like a disgruntled Sith, I think I will have to finish some other time when I am suitably irked at "having wasted another day doing nothing but mope"
I just realized that almost all things I attempt in my life are so eminently mediocre that I sabotage all those attempts by not achieving my decidedly mediocre goals.
I just realized that I was thinking of writing a blog post about the etymology of the word "jaded", being amply jaded myself.
And yeah, I just realized that I don't actually know what jaded really means. So I looked it up. I had a vague idea that it means that it means something close to being exhausted. It does mean that, but apparently it also means being cynical due to surfeit. It also might also mean an Aerosmith song, not one of their finer works, but passable enough.
How suitable. In a way, it is true. In a literal, and a metaphorical sense. Being metaphorically overfed is a tad difficult, but not impossible. Its weird how many mediocre young people like myself have it so easy that they turn into disaffected disinterested bastards, grow beards, learn liberal buzzwords, read some Sartre, and stand on cold gray beaches staring at the cold blue ocean and smoke cigarettes. You see all these people, do me (yes literally) a favour. Get a bull whip and whip the lot of us into shape.
The privileged among us, and that includes me, and you, assuming I can actually get someone to read my blog, we have killed our demons. We don't have to fight or die, at any level. We are looking at more or less comfortable lives no matter what we do. The term "fucking up", which is used liberally among people of my age, has lost its relevance. You can't fuck up, and even if you can, the society around you will ensure that it doesn't show.
It seems to me that we live in the dystopian setting that Huxley and Orwell imagined over half a century back. What made these dystopias so abhorrent was the fact that there were all marked by the social wheel coming to a halt. The hierarchy set now is the hierarchy for all times to come. Social hierarchy is a complex thing. The only thing that is always true is the fact that it is dynamic at all times. It's like a living organism, writhing and twisting and turning forever and ever into new configurations. This is the natural way of things. Its always possible to fuck up, and survival is an issue no matter who you are. To challenge this natural way of things was mankind's greatest folly, and the fact that man actually not only challenged this but brought the metaphorical wheel to a grinding halt is simultaneously man's greatest triumph and defeat.
For now , we have challenged that last supreme unknown that we should have let be in the course of our long, arduous journey. We have brought about the downfall of the very foundation of our prosperity, the fact that endeavour has worth. No matter who you are, what you are, the course your life takes is in your hands. No more. No more, for fools that we are, we have killed the worth endeavour had.
The irony of the whole thing is , that this had to come to pass eventually. It is a design feature with all warm blooded animals, to try and ensure the well being of one's young. But man cannot stop thinking you see. After killing cholera and smiting the plague, he thought unto himself, what more can I do to ensure the well being of my brood? If he was placed well enough, Why, he thought, should my offspring not be assured of the same.
I realize now that my acute angst has suitably been vented to some degree in a constructive way that does not involve porn sites and deliberating if I should pay $14.99 to enjoy a year of watching overwrought girls with too much lipstick strip on their webcams. Since the aforementioned angst was what was channeling the Force and was making me act like a disgruntled Sith, I think I will have to finish some other time when I am suitably irked at "having wasted another day doing nothing but mope"
posted by '~-)Sandman(-~' at 5:22 PM
3 Comments:
Great post
or you could just use chatroulette and it has the whole casino feel to it because you never know who is up next :P
format is very common among writers, nice reflection though
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