Of Pee and other things

So there I was, chopping up a goat named !..chix^ (because chopping up goats IS a healthy pastime that usually culminates in an appetizing bowl of mutton rogan josh) when I suddenly got an impulse to pee into the dustbin situated right next to a certain somebody's room. Now I recognize that something doesntr smell quite right in my pee, but still, it's MY pee eh? I am gifting my pee to somebody, and i will be sans my pee for like he next two hours. Why, I'd say its a grand gesture. Now you'll say it's a nice gift, but a tad messy. But then what isnt. I give somebody a watch, they suddenly know what time it is. All the fucking time. Do you know what thats like? Like, its 8:15 and you have a class at 8. And you are awake. Now just because I presented you a watch, you have to feel like crap for another 40 minutes, and crappier for the rest of the day. Or i could gift you a hen. Man. Thats one hell of a messy thing. Imagine finding egg shaped eggs inside you favourite underwear. Thatd be a nighmare. Andif you grew tired of the hen and tried to chop it up, why tatd be messy. Chicken blood is sticky and gooey. Not at all like goats. Goat blood is the most divine drink found on planet earth, but thats for some other time.

So my undying love for this certain someone gave me this sudden urge right. so I go to this fellow's room. I proceed to sit in front of his comp and start playing his guitar. This fellow, with all possible modes of entertainment sealed off, gets bored and drifts off into a slumber. I sense that now is the time, and proceed to pee in his dustbin, because any good gift should come as a surprise right.

What i had forgotten is that this fellow routinely pours beer into his dustbin and drinks it. He says drinking from the bottle stirs up his arachno(?)phobia and claustrophobia. I understand the claustrophobia part, but i never quite figured out the arachnophobia. I mean, are beer bottles made from molten spider? I have to check that out from wikipedia. anyway. This guy wakes up, and gets extremely pleased at finding a pungent fluid in his dustbin. Now this guy thanks me right? and i am like very happy that he likes my gift. I DO NOT at this point know that he thinks its beer. So I have this smug look on my face, andthen suddenly , this guy lifts the dustbin and drinks its contents. I am like stunned you know. before I can react hes finished it. Whats more, he LIKES it. He asks me what brand it is, before clutching his stomach and collapsing in an ungainly heap.

I am writing this from the hospital ward.

moral: Pee makes for a great gift, except when the intended recipient loves beer. Pee may be a great gift, but it's not a very healthy thing to ingest. In case your frind loves beer and you still want to gift your Pee to him, make sure you DO NOT pee in his preferred beer container