And finally, the Dope Show

They say you are never good enough a writer to be able to write what your world turns into after you've doped...People write songs, paint cubist paintings, and do all kind of weird shit after they've doped, but ask anybody who has doped whether the sensations that u come across can be manifested into creativity, and they'll say, No son...There is absolutely no way you can tell the world what you feel, because it is quite frankly , out of this world.

So this is merely a feeble attempt to pay homage to whoever invented this shit, a very human effort at something that is enormous beyond human comprehension...We are talking in parsecs here.

So this is how it starts off. Recently I got dope (ahem) (real good quality stuff, god bless the farmer and provide him with more kids than he can feed and all that shit) and we (me and my friend that is...not the editorial "We") started smoking it...the first joint passed uneventfully...in fact i was starting to get very angry...(where is the high).
The second one turned out to be a bit loose...slightly on the wilder side...ahem...
That was what did it...we were doing the bullet (not really shooting each other, but rather keeping the smoke in till your partner hands you back the fag)

Three puffs into the second joint. Still nothing. I actually started thinking about faking a high.

And then, like a bullet, it struck.

Now when Marijuana hits you, first thing you feel is that everything has slowed down. Your hands might be making ultrasonic trips to and fro you mouth, but in the world you are entering, it'll seem like forever.So we slowed down. Well, nothing in it. Muscle reflexes. And then I started laughing (and continued in this rather uncomfortable state for the next half an hour)

Then it only grew better, and better , and better.

You see all these psychedelic works of art, and you think, what the heck is this.And then you reach a naive conclusion ; ah...this guy was doped, witless...what do you expect? Now, could you be more wrong? I think not!
Well, can you imagine seeing a shape corresponding to every sound you hear?
Can you even begin to try to attempt to imagine what the air molecules hitting against you tympanum look like? Can you imagine what colors they invoke in you brain? You catch a stray word from the outside world, and that bounces off the inside of your skull, and keeps bouncing, like an echo hall...and all the while, you see a yellow dart going around the periphery of a pink hexagon with blue dots in the middle.

And the language!!!! why are we humans so inefficient? All the while my brain was jabbering away in some strange and yet perfectly comprehensible language. Each event, each object that we see in our everyday spheres has a characteristic sound, that is as different from any other as one man's thumb from another's. When you drink water, when you see a dog cowering in the dark alley, when you puke, Everything you see or do has a distinctive ring to it. My brain was chattering away about outlandish things in this strange tongue, things that wouldnt even make sense now, made sense there.Why mother nature gave us English instead of this...Organic tongue, I can only wonder.

When i recall that,it makes me feel like a child watching iron filings creep slowly over a piece of paper, bewildered because i did not know that there was a magnet underneath. Well, weed makes everything transparent. You see the tiniest links, whole chains of events in a form that technology can never hope to reproduce, you see the first link in every chain. You see, you understand, and you pity the people around you for being powerless to even grasp the simple reality of the fact that they are in fact blind. Blind to almost everything that goes on around them. Blind because Nature chose it that way. Blind because Man was created by somebody who thought it best to let man see only the results of His complex manouvers . And be eternally puzzled.

Do you know what it is like to be God? I treat this question and the many I have asked as rhetorics, because I know that if you havent gotten high, you DO NOT know what it is like to be God. What it is like to be holding intellectual conversations with your cerebellum over a cup of purple coffee. What it is like to know all your pains and yet not be pained by them.

People say that they feel like jumping from a cliff after doping. I say , these people have never doped. Or they were too witless to realize that they werent doping, they were just drunk. For when you dope, You are totally aware of yourself. All your aspirations, all your thoughts, who you are, where you live, which tile in you bathroom is loose, everything. You are not out of your mind, you are too much in it. You are conscious of yourself. Acutely conscious. You are conscious of every nerve ending, and every nerve ending is conscious of you. I am sure, that whoever said "Whole is a part and part is but a part of the whole" (Dont smirk, I think it was Lord Krishna) doped a lot. Or maybe he didnt need to. He was God himself you see.

Anyway. I am blabbing a lot. That seems to be one major sideffect that has taken place. I blabbed non stop for two hours when I was high, and my dutiful biographers recorded such improbably quotable quotes as

"I am God"

"Did I tell you that I once killed Val Kilmer, fucked his wife, and then became him"

"The brain is like a bulb, easy to switch off"

"Drugs and sex go hand in hand, so make a dope movie now of me, and it'll sell like porn" (I like this one the best, just goes to show how acutely aware I was of my rather deplorable financial state :) )

So thats about it. I cannot claim to have conveyed a hundredth of what i felt. For that i'll have to dope again. But I hope I have given a push along the road which has a sign post saying "Hell this way, 3455000 kms" to all ye who cannot bear people who dope.

For face it. You are all cunts, and I am God