Reflections on Shit (A Humble attempt to comprehend the complexities and subtleties involving consumption of shit)

Shit...
i can almost smell it...

"To (eat) shit or not to (eat) shit...that is the question"

-Shakespeare

Face it, if u dont talk shit...u hear it...
and inspite of the fact that i really dont have any affinity to shit...
still i'd rather spread it around than take it in...
U either make shit...or you eat it...
and eating shit is the ultimate demise for an intellectual being

Of course..there can be several heirarchial levels...
wherein one CAN in theory process shit processed by someone else and throw it out...

In fact all the shit that YOU produce is consumed by some poor fellow in some cranny of this world
(Feel Guilty the next time you shit)
shitty shitkins of a shitbag
confounded pickled gherkin

Of course another theoretical possibilty we can examine is a "Feedback" mechanism ...
u feed on ur own shit and refine it...
make it even more devoid of any useful contents that it might have...
come to think of it...nature rarely shows such phantasmagorical extravagance...but here we see one...
The shit we produce might not be unadulterated shit at all..

Inspite of the fact that i made a statement before that consuming shit may lead to an untimely intellectual demise which might otherwise under similar circumstances have been avoided, the statement made here itself being a very good example of shit that YOU are consuming at this moment and thereby running the risk of an untimely intellectual demise...
Shit..

so where were we....
ok...untimely intellectual demise...no...feedback mechanism..
so yeah
nature should have an inbuilt feedback mechanism...
or rather an inbuilt FORCEfeedback mechanism...
so that the shit goes around in a cycle until its completely devoid of anything that might be remotely useful to the human body...

think of it...

Eventually the human race is bound to need such a mechanism..
inability to eat shit is going to be the ultimate cause for the untimely demise of the human race...
when there will be 50 billion people on the face of this earth...
The feedback mechanism is the only thing that can work..
Of course...
perpetual motion is not possible...
but still this can serve us well...

Of course, every spark of genius is accompanied by a myriad of problems, albeit technical , but problems all the same...

Thermodynamics prohibits sustenance of perpetual motion...
otherwise we'd have been home and dry...
for example...

we produce about half a kilo of shit a day...about 50 percent is completely useless...
so when there are 50 billion ppl on this earth....how do you process that much shit??

Here is where the real spark of genius comes in...
We could make planets....

Think of it
if N = number of people , then amount of shit produced is directly proprtional to number of ppl..
and so is the number of people transferred to exotic locations for ever...

Hmm...truely...an Idea can change your life...

so the population always remains under control...
yippeeeee
Shit...that was goo....

(That typo was intentional)

In the end, i'd like to say(with all the air of sombre modesty that I can muster at this august moment of my victory in the battle that I have sustained for so long against all those kleptomaniacal baboons who did not believe in the Power of Shit) hope to have(in fact I am as sure of it as the fact that the sun actually rises from the west ) contributed to extending the longevity of the human race....

As some wise man once said..."I am sailing into the unknown...."(yeah...somebody with an IQ of above 140 must have said...ok...i did...)....

i hope others as brave as this valiant Shit-knight will also dare to look beyond...

ps: I am hoping to get felicitatory mails from people thrilled at the prospect of spending the rest of their mortal, as well the whole of their immortal lives on PLANET SHIT....

The world through my eyes...(Part 2)

Of course, I might ask myself at this point, that Am I talking to anybody??
and what are the implications if I am not???

Is the moon there when nobody is looking???

am i there when nobody is listening????

Do I exist even when somebody is????Or am I but a mirthless phantasm....A phantasm of my own mind....

A phantasm in the mind of a phantasm in the mind of a phantasm in the mind of a phantasm in the mind of a phantasm.......
flying awayawayawayawayawayawayaway......


Me Thinking (or M.T.)
- U will never get her... It is impossible....She is unattainable....dont you fucking realize????she is too good for you....and she ....Do you think that she would fall for your cheap overtures?? Dont you think the ball has been in your court long enough???
Or maybe she too is a phantasm in your mind....So she is behaving exactly the way you dont want her to....
just as is the case with you yourself

My god....nothing ever happens the way you want it to....could it not be that the whole world is a creation of your own brain????eloquently quaintly elegantly prettily eerie, but unreal...But by symmetry then all should have a similar imagined world...So all of us are truely there...but none of us sees the other, Tis only ourselves we see..

Man in blue T shirt...probably unshaven for two weeks...poor PhD students
- Excuse me...are you temp11??? I think I told you not to switch off any terminals even when you are stuck

(M.T.) -Gerrof me son of a bitch.....bloody arse

Me- No acacactually what happened was that...

blue T shirt- I dont think so....You see...(shit)

(M.T.) - &$#&%#&%#&%(*&)(IH
Every dog has his day.....You qualify to have your day by that statement...You bloody son of a bitch

Me- No...I am very sorry...I am sure I will manage call somebody the next time I get stuck (undertone) bloody f*****

(M.T.) - Hellish inferno...I hate this place....but I love it too... VampirishByVirtueOfSuckingHarlotInfested
Streets....Goat....What god made him I wonder???and whereof do I speak of with such grandiloquence??
This is a battle of egoes.... The Crab against the Goat...Nobody wins, because crabs dont eat goats and goats dont eat crabs....But both get hurt....Bad thing....this human thing called ego....always comes up when humans are chaffed....

Why could i not be like the Little Prince????

Because I am not....I am not pure of heart...of course I could be a prude....So that others think that I am...

So if others think I am pure of heart that means I am not...I am a prude....

Because nobody thinks that anybody else is pure of heart... We never really see anybody else save our own noses, do we.....So if we think others think us to be pure of heart then we are imagining that too....
which makes us prudes.....

lady in red kammez-
Do you know how to get this thing working???

me- of course

(M.T.)- why cant you ask someone else????WHY ME FOR GODS SAKE????
..............................................................................

(M.T.) - I think I will take a walk....I love taking that walk....nobody around...Sometimes i like being alone

I dont feel ashamed of myself anymore when I am alone....

I think i will take a short walk in short strides...

Short times of space in short spaces of time.....really...now isnt that so inexorable,......U should feel ashamed....copying verbatim from Joyce.....Not that he would mind though....

Myriads of blue fishes swimming in front of my eyes.....

Does She realize what she means to you????
are you not ashamed of harbouring such feelings for a sweet girl as her???You MentallyUnstableBaboonHavingBananasDreamingOfPinaColadas!!!!! How can you ever think of her like that....

You would hurt her if you were to tell her inspite of knowing that you would hurt her if you tell her that you have no intention of hurting her by telling her that which you are so sure would hurt her were you to tell her

Does that mean that the whole flaw lies in My knowing that I would hurt her feelings if I were to tell her???

Or does that make Me a quintissential brutish roguish animal(preferably a baboon) mentally retarded yet not devoid of a heart??(Such characters as are commonly shown in movies)

She is so very cute.....cute as a lemon pie...no....choclate truffle...bah...whoever said that choclate truffle tastes cute???It is voluptuous.....I love voluptuosity...but only in food...and I just realized that I am making it so much worse by writing thus of it.....

I wish the goat attempts to kill me tomorrow...That is the only way I can kill him and yet not be implicated...
Maybe if I am greviously hurt(but manage to kill him all the same) she will fall for me.....

No....this is so disgusting....Why am I thinking of her like that...I do not deserve anything as good as her....
Wait...but am I no good....I will kill now
......................................................................

Fat man,probably the kind who farts loudly in public....who doesnt fart????but this guy does it loudly....
bloody farty fartacious fartimously farted lungs of his-
Did you see X,You know, a person with a Blue T Shirt??
Me- No actually I havent seen him
(M.T.)-Muhahahahahaha
Farty- Oh, How strange...but I see...are you sure...How long have you been sitting here???
Me-Why, must be close to two hours now...
(M.T.)-Every Dog has his day!!!!!Mark My words..... Every Dog has his day
Farty-Oh I see...well...If he comes then tell him to meet me(muttering) bloody....
Me- Ok Sir, I will definitely tell Him

(M.T.)- Are you sure you should have done that ????
I mean, who are you kidding???

You are the most disgusting creature god ever managed to create

SHUT UP BLOODY VOICE!!!!! I DONT NEED YOU..... GO SCREW SOMEBODY ELSE....
PLEASE......

(waiting.....) I dont know....maybe he was right.....

Myriads of blue fishes swimming in front of my eyes.....Blue with silver streaks running down there spines....
These inexorable sharks try to eat them....But fail miserably....Flail around dear shark, but thou shalt never catch a prey so small......

Am i like the shark or the tiny fish???

Or something in between????

The middle class suffers always.....The tiny fish are big enough to bother them..... They are big enough to be eaten by the sharks, They are not big enough to fight the sharks, They are not small enough to make a meal out of the smaller fish....

Ah....The hellish ordeal that is being stuck in the middle.... and they say that the middle class holds the key
Probably that's not so untrue.... Who else would be food for the big fish???

The Moon is so beautiful tonight
There are clouds in the sky bright
A silver cream halogenic halo
that looks like an inverted volcano

O thee up in the stars of heaven
tell me truely,Do I love Her true??
Tell me ,for bear this pain I cannot
Tell me, tiny specks on a carpet blue??

I cant bear to think any more of her..... Shall I jump???? Take the leap???no....I am not as brave as Kate....
And I do not have a Leopold who loves me....

I think I will read Joyce....The sole soulmate of those beyond the reaches of their own soul.....The soul never dies....It only detaches from the mind and maligns itself in the sands and dirt of time....hurting us as it does so....Ay, The time is ripe.... It is raining outside....And as the rain drops patter with a gentle pitter patter upon the already pattered and battered stone steps, the world swoons around me..... I see it as I have never seen it before, almost as one who doesnot belong to this world anymore.... Ay, I see her here, I feel no regret, an apparition, covered in ghostly,but not ghastly halo....I know now, that this is the world of my imagination.The Time has come for me to start off on my journey.This is my world, as I see it....A phantasmal fantasy....An ecsatically mirthless hourglass...each grain of sand falls in measures....and each hour accurately mapped out in these inexplicably intricate movements of immovably tiny and yet supple grains...Ay,....tis world is strange.... The sand grains are too small to satisfu our curiosity...and the time it measures something too grand for us..... Surely there is no infernally hideously piteous predicament than being stuck in the middle......

The world through my eyes....(Part 1)

Our protagonist P.S.( known by various names to various people....of course...this might reek of
utterlynonconformistlypretentious-ity(The reader is supposed to surmise at this point that the author is clinically mad) ),well. so where were we...

aah yes....That ppl may think that This particular guy who by virtue of being the guy he is writing about, shouldn't deign to write about himself...That he should at least feign dignity if he hath it not......well...at this point the author of this forsaken blog is so utterly obfuscated as to his own intentions that he(which here ironically could also be replaced by the word "I") decides to let it be...

So..we are looking at the world through the eyes of a certain gentle(???)man called P.S.....Let us make it clear that his life is dominated by few characters.....He is senile for his age.....He also has unworldly conceptions about most people, which makes him really uncomfortable in company of most people....

His life is dominated by a mythical figure, a maiden we know he will never get...We will refer to her as "She" and "Her"....(pity of English language this....when something belongs to "Him" then it is "His"....Though "He" might not realize it....But it is hardly so with "Her"...when something belongs to "Her",it is "Hers"...and "She" invariably realizes it....) The person who is insane enough to read till this point will, the author(also referred to as "I", or P.S.) expects them to go to the next level of insanity and and see beyond the obvious implications of the statement which our royal highness "I" had the great majesty to reveal upon the poor brethern within the pair of round brackets a while back......

Anyway....Another mythical (or is it???) creature dominating his life is a person who is truely a skuldeggery-and-chicanery-ridden-maladroit-sonofabitch known as ...well...we will call him goat....
short and sweet....really useful animal too....most delicious hindparts....

Well....and there are other people that this rather interesting individual also dapples with...although occasionally.....

A rare display of sanity, of utterlybullshitty-though-rather-sane-piece-of-sanity.....The author,who hath the courage to run the risk of disembowelled by letting the world(????) in on his mental processing procedure
has decided that he will carry on in part two....

So read on,if you are insane enough....